Gordon Gordon Wyatt: Well, I’m glad to finally have the chance to sit down and catch up on the epic tale that is the Booth-Brennan partnership! How are things? I don’t think we’ve spoken since Booth’s shooting exam…
Booth: Uh, marksmanship re-certification…you fed us sperm on toast or something, right?
Gordon Gordon: Yes, more or less—anyway, I hate to sound like a thirteen-year-old girl, but I did get a notice in the mail saying that a baby had been born—
Brennan: Yes! Our baby. We had a baby. Christine Angela Booth.
Gordon Gordon: Sooooo…you two…went about it the old-fashioned way…
Booth: Yeah! Oh yeah. Definitely. Well, first we, well, it’s a long story—
Gordon Gordon: I’ve nothing but time.
Brennan: Booth confessed his love to me.
Gordon Gordon: Oh! Wonderful!
Brennan: But for reasons too complicated to explain in a diner over brunch, I turned him down—
Booth: Well, I didn’t actually confess my love to you—
Brennan: And then he re-enlisted in the army and I led a dig in Maluku, temporarily severing our partnership.
Gordon Gordon: Oh. That isn’t wonderful at all.
Brennan: And then we returned ahead of schedule and I was admittedly very happy to see him.
Booth: But I had a girlfriend.
Gordon Gordon: For god’s sake…
Brennan: Yes. She was very nice but nevertheless, I was unhappy.
Booth: Then she confessed her love to me—
Brennan: I never actually confessed my love to you—
Booth: And then I proposed to my girlfriend and she said no and we broke up.
Brennan: And he was very, very angry for a very long time.
Gordon Gordon: This…is not how I imagined this at all…
Brennan: And then my intern was shot and killed by Booth’s old friend!
Booth: Wha—he wasn’t actually my friend at the time. He went psycho and started killing people. And he killed her intern, Vincent Nigel Murray.
Brennan: And I was very sad.
Gordon Gordon: Yes, I remember hearing about that. From the British Expatriate Newsletter.
Brennan: And—is there really a British Expatriate Newsletter? Or are you being wry?
Gordon Gordon: Go ahead, go on with your story.
Booth: I knocked Bones up.
Brennan: Some things happened before that, but yes.
Gordon Gordon: Wait, I don’t see the connection between—
Booth: We were sad, we had sex, and boom! Baby Bones!
Gordon Gordon: Oh. Well, good then…?
Brennan: It wasn’t that simple, but yes, we surrendered to the obvious and admitted we love each other, and so on—these French fries are cold…
Gordon Gordon: Oh good! Well, I feel as though my psychological counseling has finally gotten through to you. I knew that you two crazy kids would get your act together at some point, and I’m delighted that it resulted in a very charming daughter, and—
Brennan: And then I proposed to Booth and he turned me down.
Gordon Gordon: Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Brennan: And although I am admittedly still vaguely hurt and very confused, I have faith enough in Booth that—Gordon Gordon, why are you banging your head against the table?
Gordon Gordon: I feel as though I’ve spent seven years of my life concocting the most magnificent souffle—
Gordon Gordon: —Only to find that’s it’s fallen. My souffle has fallen.
Brennan: Oh. It’s a metaphor.
[Photo’s from Bones Daily]